I'll Make This Quick

Online Poker is Rigged

The Pole is Up!

Misspelling intentional, a homage to the overwhelming plethora of male anatomy references used whilst labelling our league seasons.

Anyway, look to your right and vote for something or write in your own, since all the choices are so lame anyway.

The Season of the Which?

Don't know when you'll see another one of these again but the return of the formerly known as "Burnley Poker League" has prompted me to spew again for a few moments. Well, it's not the return of the league in itself, more so it is what I feel is a lack of a proper name.

Our resident Poet Laureate Brian "Kramer" Moran has dubbed the revival of our beloved card competition as the "RezErection". I feel that falls a bit short. It's something I would expect to see in huge "No Fear" style letters in the back window of a Gastonia Honda Civic. No offense Kramer, you have entertained the world for years with your literary masterpieces but this time I feel we may want to give the naming of season 7 another chance.

It is here, on Big Slick Small Money, I humbly propose the "Name Season 7 Contest". Please submit your proposals in the comment section and I will announce the candidates in a few short days. I will kick things off with the first submission:

Nate, in whatever stroke of insanity I can't imagine, has somehow convinced his wife April, who just happens to be well into her first pregnancy, to invite 30-40 sweaty beer guzzlers over to her house on a weekly basis to gamble and yell. It is for this reason I dub season 7:

"April's Fools"

I know, it sucks, but it should get a couple of you witty penmen to get the ball rolling. The winner gets a brand new wiffle ball, to be presented at the first game. Remember, if you leave an idea for a name in the comments, post w/ your name and not "anonymous". How else am I gonna know who wins the wiffle ball?

Pick 6!

Yeah, it's been forever and a day since I've put anything up, and even much longer since I've posted anything worth reading. But the greatest franchise in sports notching Super Bowl win #6 obviously merits a return to the digital canvas. And, unlike the drama - devoid manner in which they cruised to SB win #5 three years ago, thankfully they screwed up just enough to make it a nail biter.

With a 10 point lead early in the 2nd half, I was starting to look around for someone to pass the time with $5 games of 9-ball. But, much to the ratings mavens and sports writers' delight, late in the 3rd quarter the Steelers stopped dancing who they came with and began to leave the middle of the field wide open for Larry Fitzgerald to wreak havoc among our secondary, the painted end zone grass, and the collective blood pressure of millions of Iron City swilling hard working Americans. Hmmmm, I remember throughout the playoffs seeing mayhem in the form of a myriad of exotic blitzes, where 6 or 7 guys coming from who-the-hell-knows-where routinely pummeled the opposing quarterback into well ground turf nuggets. Was Warner's quick release and the quality of the Arizona WRs enough to warrant rushing only 3 or 4 in an effort to negate the big play? How the hell should I know, I'm no Dick LeBeau, I'm just a guy from central PA with a poorly funded gambling habit and an voracious need to vicariously live through the acts of professional sports figures. I live in a cave, for chrissakes!

All I know is next thing we're down 23-20 and I'm shittin' bricks. The pool cue is in the rack, the Terrible Towel is in a white knuckle clutch, and the Sierra Nevadas are goin' down in alarming numbers. And I'm looking at Luckbox and she's showing a nervousness that I seldom ever see. The root cause undoubtedly a rather large bet on the Steelers -7 which she wisely hedged with an even larger bet on the money line. Me, I couldn't bring myself to bet on this game. The money line odds were shit, and I couldn't bear to bet the spread. The worst case scenario being the Steelers win but don't cover, and I have to sit there trying to figure out a way to be happy about it.

And, as you saw, that's exactly what happened. I went 3 for 3 betting on championship Sunday, won a donkey fest tournament later that night at the Luxor, and subsequently lost it all the next night in one hand at the Venetian. I wasn't about to let some mindless wagering get in my way of a good time. If the Steelers win, I'm dancin' on clouds, ridin' the range, and punchin' them dogies. If they lose, I'm finding a well traveled interstate on which to play hop-scotched whilst waiting to eat the business end of a west bound 18 wheeler.

You saw what happened. Ben threw to the "my guy or no guy" zone and Holmes made a catch that justifies the all the money he'll make his entire career. As incredible as that was, I believe that Harrison's 100 yard pick 6 to end the first half was the greatest play in Super Bowl history. Think about it. The Cardinals are about to take the lead, or at least tie the game, and more importantly, seize the momentum going into the 2nd half. Instead, this 265 lb freak steps up at the goal line, picks it off, runs the length of the field, and crosses the goal line by 2 inches with NO TIME left on the clock. If he gets tackled at the 1 it's a meaningless play. He knew it, and he showed us again why he is the Defensive Player of the Year.

Okay, enough ranting. Back to poker. I won a freeroll 54 man sitn'go at 3 am this morning while eating a bowl of ice cream. The next time something good happens on the felt, I swear I'll be back to say something.

You Won't Believe This

I've tried to think of all sorts of funny shit to say about this one. I just keep typing and hitting backspace because nothing I can think of does justice to the hilarious level of stupidity achieved by the subject in the video. Just watch it, it speaks for itself.

Special thanks to Change100 for posting this over on Pot Committed.

I know all I've been doing is posting funny shit I've seen lately. That's because I have nothing to say about poker. For some reason my mind just isn't in it and my results certainly show that. For what it's worth I won 500 bones in a $50 online tourney the other night, lost half of it already, got raped at Harrah's in Nawlins', won some money in a few cash games, lost every race I've been in for 6 months, see people catch up to my straights with the same straight, a better one, or a flush, sweat my balls off, drink cheap beer, unsucessfully quit smoking, and generally play like I'm on 4 valiums waiting for a flight to Haiti.

Oh, that and I was busy for 2 months building a race car. The race was last weekend. Now THAT was fricken fun. Article to follow, in the meantime a teaser pic...