We're Goin' Dancin' With Lord Stanley

Well I'll be cow kicked, the Steel City juggernaut known as the Pittsburgh Penguins are once again going to the Stanley Cup! The Pens sent the Filthadelphia Flyers to an early tee time by destroying them 6-0 yesterday afternoon. It will take them years of self loathing and intense group therapy to recover from this monumental ass whooping.

By the way, that's $24 paid on a $20 bet on blowdog, I now not worry from where those next 6 gallons of gas are coming.



The Black and Gold simply looks unstoppable. They've got three bona fide superstars in Sydney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Marion Hossa. Those three alone have combined to score 59 points in only 14 playoff games (22 goals, 37 assists). With support from Ryan Malone, Jordan Stahl, Peter Sykora, and a defense that is suffocating the opposition, the Penguins are a complete team playing a complete game. In the rare occassion that the front 5 allow anyone near the net, 3rd year goalie Marc Andre Fleury has been damn near unbeatable with a Goals Against Average of 1.70 and a save percentage of almost 94%. And the icing on the cake is George Laroque. He isn't the fastest skater or the best puck handler but he beats the shit out of people.



The Pens are 11/10 to win the cup, I got 'em 4 weeks ago at 7/2. Click below and it'll explain the title.

Break Out the Brooms...

...'cause it's gonna be a sweep. That will be one Ulysses S. Grant, Mr. Buff.

Last night, the Pittsburgh Penguins continued their domination of the hockey world, embarrassing the New York Rangers in their home dump called Madison Square Garden. High scoring games, low scoring, rough and tumble...it doesn't matter. No matter how many goals the opposition scores, the Penguins simply score more.

In a development that will leave many Pens fans grinning between gulps of Iron City, it was learned after the game that New York's chief punk-ass Sean Avery had ruptured his spleen. It is reported he will make a full recovery, so there is nothing wrong with making fun of him. He's a douche bag and a habitual line-stepper but we wish no ill health on anyone. Make a full recovery Mr. Avery, so the Penguins can kick the shit out of you next year!

A victory in tomorrow night's game would make 8 in a row. Thank god it's not Detriot, where you'd have to be on the lookout for a flying octupus. Don't worry about that happening, the Ded Wings are an aging, decrepit collection of hockey fossils and also rans. They'll never win another 8 in a row and if they are so fortunate to emerge from the inferior Western Conference, they will be soundly defeated by the Pittsburgh Juggernaut. I will have no mercy for them, they just don't have a chance.

The Penguins are Steamrolling

In an almost embarrassing display of dominance, the Pittsburgh Pengiuns sytematically beat the living shit out of the weak ass Ottowa (where?) Senators. The Pens performed the only sweep of the first round of the NHL playoffs as Evgeni Malkin and Sydney Crosby diplayed offensive prowess reminiscent of the early 90s duo of Lemieux-Jagr

Because all the other teams in the east are lame asses who aren't worth a pair of used goalie pads, the Pens are gonna have to wait another day or two to see which collection of dirt surfers they will send crying to the golf course, or some hog farm in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.

While we wait, click on the video below to see Ryan Whitney pounding the hell of Wade Redden. Weather's getting warm, days are getting longer, girls are wearing less, and it's the NHL playoffs. Damn! I love this time of year.