A belated 420 wish

Okay, I'm one day late but that's the way it should be on such an occasion as this. It was Sunday, so I get a pass on this one. Either way, if you forgot, happy belated 420 and as a token of my gratitude, below we have a classic clip from the Price is Right. Don't give up too early, at about 0:40 you'll see what I mean.

The Penguins are Steamrolling

In an almost embarrassing display of dominance, the Pittsburgh Pengiuns sytematically beat the living shit out of the weak ass Ottowa (where?) Senators. The Pens performed the only sweep of the first round of the NHL playoffs as Evgeni Malkin and Sydney Crosby diplayed offensive prowess reminiscent of the early 90s duo of Lemieux-Jagr

Because all the other teams in the east are lame asses who aren't worth a pair of used goalie pads, the Pens are gonna have to wait another day or two to see which collection of dirt surfers they will send crying to the golf course, or some hog farm in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.

While we wait, click on the video below to see Ryan Whitney pounding the hell of Wade Redden. Weather's getting warm, days are getting longer, girls are wearing less, and it's the NHL playoffs. Damn! I love this time of year.

Circling the Drain

I’ve absolutely fallen apart as a poker player lately, particularly in tournaments. While it would better time spent to sit out on the sidewalk of Burnley drive every Wednesday evening, passing the time lighting 80 dollar bills on fire, one at a time whilst sipping on Gin and Juice, I keep trying. What it is that makes me so bad lately, I can’t quite put a finger on. Am I too tight, too afraid to bluff, too unsure whether the entry level nimrod, hustling over from another late night in the cubicle at One Wachovia, will have the intelligence to fold his middle pair? Or is it this insatiable desire to do stupid things? I don’t know but I do know that I’m playing like shit.

A little story for ya:

As is typical, last night I get some juicy starting hands in the first level of the tournament and I pick up a few chips. And then, as usual, I piss them away and immediately go on SST (Short Stack Torture), dragging around 10 big blinds, unable to speculate, and, like Larry Holmes in the twilight of his career, wielding not a single weapon but a feeble Sunday haymaker. A case in point from last night, should however clearly explain why I find myself starting the cash game for the last two months.

It was 50-100, the second round of blinds. Since there’s so much contemplating, posturing, ball scratching, and general coffee housing going on at our game, that probably means it was about the sixth hand of the night. Anyhow, BOC opens the pot for 300. In position I have AQ and I feel aggression is the order of the day. We both have chips (like I said, it’s early in the tournament) and I’m pretty sure he does not want to tangle without a really big hand. I make it 1100 to go. Darryl is in the small blind and after losing a decent pot, he’s down to about 6500. That won’t stop him though, he’s a calling station and it’s irrelevant that I think it’s quite perilous to put in 18% of your stack, most likely with Jacks, out of position, after a raise and a re-raise, when putting any chips in post flop will effectively commit the rest of your stack.

As much as I know Darryl, though, he knows me too. I put him on Jacks and he puts me on two big cards and if recent history is any indicator, ain’t no way I‘ll hit the flop. Whatever, he calls, pot odds dictate that BOC reluctantly calls. I don’t know what he has, it doesn’t matter, I have position and I’ll worry about him if he becomes a factor. There’s about 3500 in the pot. The flop is some kinda non threatening junk like 2-5-7. They both check. I know what I SHOULD do here but I just can’t help my self. I look down at my hand, moving independently of all the other oxygen and carbon in my body, effortlessly reaching for 2 orange chips and tossing them in the pot. Before I can even ask my hand why the hell he just threw 2000, in position, with big over cards, into the pot, Darryl moves all in.

His raise is 3475 more, which puts my dumb ass into quite a predicament. There’s now about 11,000 in the pot. I’m getting about 3.2 to 1 on the call. With 6 outs, using the rule of 4, I’m about 77 to 23 on the call, just about the exact odds I need to justify a call. But it isn’t about that anymore. It’s about how moronically I’ve played this pot. I should have either checked or just moved all in on the flop, getting the same odds but reversing the decision onto Darryl’s shoulders. Darryl plays the numbers, there’s no emotion in it for him. He knows from time to time that he’ll be quietly sipping scotch next to the fire, snuggled up with the jacks that just sent him walking from yet another tourney. But that’s the way it goes sometimes. A caller never, a bettor be.

Calling leaves me with about 6000, folding keeps me at 9500. So, if nothing more than to punish myself for my seemingly endless stupidity, I fold.

The simplest of concepts, swirling the drain of my mental capacity. I better get my shit together.

Idiotic Sports bets from the last Two weeks

Been a while....my poker game has once again fallen to shit so let's just not talk about it right now. I have been making silly bets on some of my favorite sports. I think the NFL withdrawal is finally letting go..... Let's see what's happened the last 10 days or so...........


Mar 22, 2008. Brad Keselowski (18 to 1) to win the Nationwide (formerly Busch) Race at Nashville. Yeah, I know both of you reading this have no idea who Brad Keselowski is but he drives for Dale Earnhardt Jr’s Bus..I mean Nationwide team and 18 to 1 is hard to pass up on a talented driver in top equipment. He did finish 4th.

Wagered: $6.67 Lost: It all

Mar 22, 2008. Clint Bowyer (+140) to finish higher than Kyle Busch in that same race. Busch has been on fire (not in a Ricky Bobby way, thankfully) especially in the series formerly of his namesake but his driving style still costs him in many ways. He wears out tires and his competitors, from previous experience, have NO problem getting into with him more than any other driver on the track. Plus, Clint Bowyer is a great driver in top equipment. I didn’t see it but someone spun Busch out of the lead late in the race. Thank You.

Wagered: $6.67 Won: $9.34

Mar 22, 2008. Brad Keselowski (-110) to finish higher than Stephen Leicht. Keselowski is in what I would call a “Positive Expected Value” position when it comes to betting on him in racing. He’s relatively young and unheard of, which will give him long odds. He is, however, in the best equipment on the track and the oddsmakers have not yet caught up to his current performance. They will soon but for now he’s like an undervalued stock and I’ll keep buying shares.

Wagered: $6.67 Won: $6.06

Mar 29, 2008. Washington Capitals (-130) vs. Florida Panthers

Sometimes I bet on hockey just so I have a reason to watch the game. With the Caps, though, I really don’t need to do that. Alexander Ovechkin is reason enough to watch any game. Next to Sidney Crosby, who plays for the best franchise in the history of competitive sport, Ovechkin is the most exciting hockey player to hit the ice since Mario Lemieux. And I knew they would pound the Panthers. An easy 10 bones.

Wagered: $13 Won: $10

March 29, 2008. PARLAY!

Tampa Bay Lightning (+115) vs. Carolina Hurricanes AND Under 6

Tampa blows this year. For the most part, they can’t beat a rented mule. But I noticed a couple things. Carolina had played a tough game the night before in Raliegh and then had to fly to Tampa. They were beat up and tired. Tampa, like I said, sucks. Sounds like a low scoring game, huh? Ok, so we got the under out of the way. Then I noticed Tampa is something like 15-5 vs Carolina the last 20 games in Tampa. Carolina has suffered a rash of injuries and it just looks like their heart is gone. Tampa would figure someway to squeak this out. And they did, breaking a 1-1 tie with about 8 minutes left in the game. I’m a genius!

Wagered: $20 Won: $63.95

March 30, 2008. A bunch of Heads Up bets on the Winston I mean Next….I mean Sprint Cup race at Martinsvillle:

Greg Biffle +105 vs. Kasey Kahne
Wagered: $9.52 Lost: All of it

Juan Pablo Montoya (-105) vs. Jamie McMurray. McMurray finally pulled his head out of his ass. Thanks Metro!
Wagered: $25 Lost: All of it.

Jeff Gordon (-165) vs. Kyle Busch. Keep trying shrub.
Wagered: $16.50 Won: $10

Kevin Harvick (-145) vs. Carl Edwards. Carl must have found a new ‘Roid dealer
Wagered: $14.50 Lost: All of it.

Jeff Gordon (-130) vs. Jimmie Johnson. Jimmie just don’t have his shit together right now.
Wagered: $13 Won: $10

So, in the last 10 days I have wagered $131.53, Won $109.35, and lost $55.69 for a net gain of $53.66. That may not mean much to you but to me that is one 1.75 Liter bottle of Ketel One with enough leftover to buy the gas to get to Frugal McDougal’s.


Next: Circling The Drain

Favre Hangs It Up

I've never seen anybody enjoy what he's doing anywhere near as much as when Brett Favre played football. Although he often put covering the spread in grave jeopardy, his ability to have fun while playing at the absolute highest level of his profession is unmatched.

Story

A truly brilliant sports career, one of the best of all time.